Have you ever heard a rap song about saving money? No? Then today is your lucky day, my friends. Your life isn’t complete until you hear a rap song about saving money.
Let me introduce you to Lil Dicky.
He doesn’t rap about buying Bentleys and poppin’ caps. In fact, he does the opposite. One of his songs is even bears the name $ave Dat Money.
If you haven’t heard it, stop.
You need this song in your life like yesterday. Check it out (warning: NSFW or people who don’t have a raunchy sense of humor or a fondness for naughty words):
Contents
Shooting A Rap Video About Saving Money…For Free
I think one of my favorite things about this video is that the dude made it entirely without spending a dime, and even made money in the end.
The clips of him walking through a ritzy neighborhood and knocking on random doors to see if he can use people’s homes to shoot a rap video (without paying for it) are about the funniest thing I’ve seen since Zach tried to sing an accurate rendition of SexyBack.
If you’ve got some time to spare, check it out this hilarious mini-documentary about the making of the video.
Pretty hilarious concept, right? Then I started thinking (or rather, Zach proposed it as a topic)…How much would Lil Dicky actually save by doing all those things for a year?
So, of course I had to get out my Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass to scope it out.
I’ll break down each claim one-by-one. I’ll look for the most recent estimates of actual spending patterns from studies. If a study was more than a few years old, I adjusted the numbers to 2017 dollars using this nifty calculator. Whenever hard data isn’t available, I’ll go for an estimate. And as a last resort, I’ll just tell you why the thing is good to do.
Ladies and gentleman, buckle up. This is gonna be a fun ride.
Without further ado, I present: Lil Dicky, $ave Dat Money
Verse 1
Rap game got it all wrong
We ain’t ’bout to go and spend money just to flex on her
We ain’t really got it like ya’ll
I’m the type of motherfucker that’ll check the check
Do the math, I ain’t never gettin’ robbed
Those margaritas not goin’ on my card
I ain’t ’bout to split a damn thing for convenience sake
I’m at the restaurant workin’ that waitress
Overpayment errors in restaurants are not well-documented, sadly. But, do you know what is? Medical billing errors! (Cue sad music)
11% of Medicare dollars are billed in error. Let’s assume the same rate applies to other insurances. The average non-retired adult pays an average of $798.15 per year in out-of-pocket expenses. Multiply them together, and voilà!
Verdict: $87.80
You ain’t heard of Lil Dave, or L the Jew biz major
Fuck you know ’bout the world he was raised in?
I’ve been saving money since I was motherfuckin’ 13
I wear the same pair of jeans everyday
Jean size varies according to dudes’ leggage. Let’s assume that one week of jeans equals one load of laundry. My laundromat charges $2.75 per load of laundry. Multiply that by 52 and hey presto!
Verdict: $143
Free sandwiches, homie, two stamps away
You can get a steak-and-cheese footlong for $8.69 in LA. Why LA? Because that’s where rappers live, right?
Let’s assume he gets two sandwiches per month, or 24 per year. If you get a free sandwich after 10 stamps, that’s two free sandwiches per year.
Verdict: $17.38
Book flight December but I leave in May
You can save a sweet wad of cash by not waiting till the last minute to book your flight.
Verdict: $346
My drugs are generic but still work the same
Generic drugs cost about 30% less than name-brand drugs. The average annual per capita out-of-pocket costs for prescription drugs is $195.55, and $338 for over-the-counter drugs.
Verdict: $160
I get logins for Netflix from my cousin Greg (Thanks, Greg!)
The standard Netflix packages run $9.99 per month.
Verdict: $119.88
Verse 2
I ain’t parkin’ that unless the meter green homie
Let’s assume that you can save about one hour per month by parking at a green meter and that meters run about $1.82/hour in downtown LA (because that’s where rappers live, right?).
Verdict: $21.84
Hair cut several months in-between homie
Most dudes get their hair cut once per month or so. If the average haircut costs $28, you can save a nice bit o’ cash by getting your hair cut once per quarter instead of every month.
Verdict: $224
Hit the motherfuckin’ lights when I leave homie
You can save about 7.2 cents by turning off the lights during an 8-hour workday. Let’s assume you do this every workday for a year (240 workdays).
Verdict: $17.28
Single ply TP ass bleed
Double-ply TP costs $1.75 per roll at my local grocery store and comes with 500 sheets/roll, making it 0.350 cents per sheet. Single-ply TP from the same brand costs $1.02 per roll and comes with 1,000 sheets/roll, making it 0.102 cents/sheet.
If the average American uses 57 sheets of TP per day, we can multiply that out and subtract the differences to come out with the final total.
Verdict: $51.59
Air B&B the mother fucker, least I’m never there
Apparently Lil Dicky shares a house with three other dudes rather than living in a fancy mansion (whaaaaaat?). If you rent out a room in LA you can expect to make $232 per week, according to AirBnB. But, I’m sure Lil Dicky needs a place to stay when he isn’t crashing other rapper’s video shoots, so let’s assume he only rents out his room for half the year.
Verdict: $6,032
I’m not in Cali, why the fuck my company in Delaware?
I honestly have no number for this one. Apparently Delaware is a huge tax haven, though.
Happy hour takin’ out the chicken, I don’t even care
That applies to both dating and wings
This varies according to which restaurants you frequent and how often you opt for the happy hour vs. full-price menu. I have no numbers for this one either, sadly.
Peep matinees phone bill got the motherfuckin’ fam on it
There are two claims here: peep matinees (that’s a movie matinee right? I feel so uncultured now) and staying on a family cell phone plan.
Matinees are $2.25 cheaper than full-price tickets at my local movie theater. If the average American goes out to a movie five times per year, that’s $11.25 saved. You can also save up to $300 per year by staying on a family plan as opposed to going it alone.
Verdict: $311.25
401k rollin’ over bands on it
I don’t know what “rollin’ over bands on it” means, but I do know what a 401k rollover is. It’s a way to consolidate all of your old 401k plans into one (ideally) low-cost 401k. How much you save depends on what the fees were with your old 401ks, how low the fees are at your new 401k, and how much money you roll over.
Coppin’ sweaters in the summer, went and sail on ’em
The fuck you rappers bragging ’bout? You overpaying for it!
I….don’t know. Although rappers generally are overpaying for things, though. 🙂
Verse 3
I ain’t never hit a bar with a cover
The average cover charge for an event at a bar is $5. If you go to a bar once per month, say, and avoid ones with cover charges, you can keep a tidy sum in your bank account by the end of the year.
Verdict: $60
Related post: 5 Things I’ve Saved On By Staying A Tomboy…And 5 Things I Haven’t
Low thread count, hard with the covers
My local store sells 3,000-thread-count sheets for $52 and 200-thread-count sheets for $25.
Verdict: $27
Free trial memberships though
I never join the shiz though
Fuck you think this is though?
This is another one that’s hard to quantify. What trial memberships are you getting? For how long? It all depends, and thus it’s hard to calculate.
Frequent flying like a motherfuckin’ finch tho
I myself just booked a flight to Peru with airline points for free. Otherwise, I would have spent several hundred dollars.
Verdict: $774
General Tso, half a dozen on the stick
Just so I can whet the appetite of dick
What you talkin’ about?
I don’t know what you’re talking about. General Tso chicken comes on a stick? Again, I’m so uncultured…
My AC never doing nothing, blow fans
It costs 39 cents/hour to run a whole-home AC unit, versus 1 cent/hour to run a fan. Let’s assume that Lil Dicky runs his fan instead of the AC unit for 12 hours/day for three months out of the year. He can save a ton of money by avoiding the AC!
Verdict: $431.60
Walgreens card shoppin’ all the off brands
Boy go hard when collecting, got Venmo
Again, impossible to calculate. What cards are you buying? How much are your friends borrowing from you?
Save every motherfuckin’ roach, tryna smoke
I feel like I should know this since I live in Colorado. Sadly, I don’t.
Check the clothes in my drawers, I ain’t playin’ around
It’s LD, lil boy, Mr. Hand-me-down
The average American millennial dude spends $475 per year on clothes. You can’t use all hand-me-downs, though, so let’s assume 30% of his wardrobe is in fact from other people and he didn’t pay for it.
Verdict: $142.50
Dirty drawers gettin’ worn, can you blame me now?
You think I got $4.50 up in quarters on me well I fucking don’t!
Ummm….gross. Let’s assume a week’s worth of dirty underpants takes up 1/3 of a load in a washing machine (yes, the machines are tiny at my coin-operated laundromat). That means you’d have one full load every three weeks, or 17 loads of underpants laundry in a year. According to Lil Dicky, it costs $4.50 per load of laundry.
Verdict: $76.50
Related: We’re savings $5 in quarters every week by using this cheap foldable indoor drying rack (affiliate link). That’s $260 in a year!
Verse 4
If you at a restaurant and got an iced coffee
And the waiter been refillin’ that without a word of caution
And you get your fuckin’ bill and you can see ’em double chargin’
For the coffee and you told ’em there’s a problem
Sing a long like
Ohh don’t double charge for me for that
Don’t double charge me, we like
Ohh don’t double charge for me for that
Don’t do it to yourself
‘Cause I might just ask what the ice cube’s worth
What the ice cube’s worth
That’s the only differentiate in making this a non free perk
And I might make work more difficult for you than it need be
So think about it, take a minute let it breathe b
Wow.
Did you know the average price of a coffee is $2.70?
Verdict: $2.70
But think about it bro, you saw me get the burger with the bacon on the side
After looking at the price of the side, of just bacon and comparing it
To what the difference in a cheeseburger verse the bacon cheeseburger was in making my decision
I would hate to be the waiter, tryin’ to tell me something different
Imma get on Yelp in a minute and review this piece of shit place like only a **** know how
Unless you take the extra coffee off I might get loud
Unless you, oh, it was just an accident?
You didn’t even mean that?
I’m so embarrassed
I couldn’t find any hard numbers on how much a bacon cheeseburger, a regular cheeseburger, and ala carte bacon costs at the average diner.
But to guesstimate, let’s say 20 cents?
Verdict: $0.20
How much did Lil Dicky actually save in
$ave Dat Money”?
Let’s cut to the chase. Drumroll, please….
Lil Dicky saved at least $9,046.52.
That’s pretty impressive!
Even though this rap song was meant as a jest, it still makes a great point: you can save a ton of money each year just by questioning the little things in your life.
What item surprised you most on this list? What do you think he could add, and how much would that save per year? Leave a comment below!
I feel like my life is more complete now, hearing that song. XD. That’s pretty awesome — especially the celebrities he got to be in the video! Just goes to show you, sometimes all you gotta do is ask.
Two things stuck out to me. First — wash your underwear in a damned sink! Haha, that’s for sure what I did on an extended trip when I’m running out (can even use body wash or soap instead of detergent). Depending on the fabric, they can dry pretty easily over the shower rod. Course, if you’re sharing a bathroom with AirBnB guests, you probably don’t want to go that route, but if that’s the case, you for sure have the money for a laundromat.
Man, splitting the check is something I’ve come around on. I prefer to split the check, but if I’m in a larger group, it’s just too much social hassle to make a fuss over it.
I know, right? I’m not willing to save money by wearing dirty undies. No thank you. I’m going to be travelling abroad in Peru (my first international trip, not counting Canada!) this fall and I’ve been reading up on how to do laundry on the road. Washing your undies in the sink sounds like a fine way to do it.
I used to say let’s split it too (or worse – we always tried to get the check!). Now we eat out with friends quite often, and it can be a hassle to go through the bill and flag who got what, but it’s worth it. I’m a tiny person and I don’t eat as much as some of my bigger friends.
Haha, I’m one of my bigger friends, but my portion of the check is usually pretty small. I don’t eat meat or in general drink. $8 drinks add up like woah.
Can’t wait to hear about Peru!!
Edit: Federal Income Tax Bracket is only 33% for people making around ~$200k/year. If you add Cali’s taxes to that, it’s probably close to 40%.
He has an estimated net worth of ~$4mil according to a source that isn’t reputable in the slightest, but it might not be a bad estimate. He’s probably in the 39.6% tax bracket, making over $418.4k/year.
Again, my estimates were conservative.
Final point: I don’t think Lil Dicky’s paying attention to any of this shit. Probably has a financial advisor who demands huge fees, moves his clients’ money around regularly to make it seem like his job couldn’t be done by a hamster, and creates little — if any — value. Certainly isn’t beating the market after fees.
Such is life.
This is classic. You should check out Lil Dicky’s comments on RapGenius for some of this. I think 9k is probably pretty conservative.
Regarding the wings, he says:
“‘I don’t even care’ applies to both dating and wings. I think it’s my favorite line in the song. It’s saying two things: chicken in the literal sense, of wings – as in I go to happy hour just to get the discounted rate on food and take it out. Also I take dates at happy hour to get chicken cheaper while on the date.”
Let’s assume, like a generic white guy, he goes to Applebee’s.
– Boneless Buffalo Wings: $10
– Chicken Tenders: $9.59
– And say the lady orders a Cedar Grilled Lemon Chicken because it’s “Lighter Fare” under 600cals and she’s a generic white girl (would probably get a salad, but let’s stay with chicken): $10.69
– TOTAL: $30.28
But if you go during Happy Hour, you get that Two for Twenty and save at least $10.28.
– SAVED: $10.28
“Coppin’ sweaters in the summer, went and sail on ’em
The fuck you rappers bragging ’bout? You overpaying for it!”
That line is really “Coppin’ sweaters in the summer when the sale on ’em.” He’s buying sweaters on clearance. Probably saving at least $10-20/sweater and buying four or five.
– Saved: $40. Conservative.
For the General Tso line, he’s talking about grabbing a couple free samples of General Tso’s chicken in the food court instead of going to Subway or something.
– SAVED: At least $5/visit. Assuming he goes to the mall once a month, maybe $60/year.
Also, if he’s making good use of trial memberships at gyms (which is probably possible in both LA, to go along with the post, and San Francisco, where Lil Dicky actually lives) and only going to the gym twice a week like most members, he’s avoiding the initiation fee of ~$200 and monthly fee of $82.17.
– SAVED: $986.04/year + initiation fee of $200: $1186.04 for the first year and $986.04 for every year after.
Saving roaches depends on how much he smokes and how much he pays for weed. Since Lil Dicky is famous, it’s a little difficult to believe he couldn’t just find some fan to smoke him out for free, but whatever. He actually does save his roaches, though: https://youtu.be/oqUIN4-IdgE?t=425
– SAVED: Probably at least ~$60/year. Conservative. Willing to bet it’s actually a lot more.
Now let’s get into the really esoteric shit and make some major guesses.
For the 401k, let’s assume the ad company he worked for gave him a 5% match. Maybe a little irrelevant because I’m betting a guy with Lil Dicky’s financial sense was maxing it out every year — unless, of course, he was poor, had student loans, and his income wasn’t very high. Still, that’s 5% free money. At Goodby, Silverstein and Partners, he’s fully vested after five years, according to Glassdoor. He’s only twenty-nine and “Ex-Boyfriend” went viral five years ago, so I’m assuming he quit sometime around 2014. He had a Kickstarter that raised $113K for his rap career. I doubt he stayed around writing ad copy after that.
SAVED: +5% of however much he put in that 401k for the *two?* years he was there if he graduated at 22 and entered the workforce immediately. Assuming it’s a non-negligible amount that totals to $7.5k, he probably put ~7.1k in there and made $400 free money.
The rest is assuming that Lil Dicky is bringing in more than $200k/year.
He’s almost certainly maxing out his 401k now (if he wasn’t then) and probably has enough money saved up to continue to do so until the day he’s retired. I’d also argue that he probably didn’t have to roll over the 401k that he made at the ad agency into his current 401k because, as I said, he’s maxing it using his current income.
SAVED: At least 10% on however much money he had in the 401k by rolling it over rather than withdrawing it (which is what “78% of twenty-somethings do when they leave a company,” because they’re not used to thinking very hard – Ramit Sethi, minus the aggressive part).
Of course Lil Dicky could afford to cash it out, so why’s he rolling it over? I’m guessing it’s so he can invest in a Roth IRA and put that money in a lifecycle fund (smart because Lil Dicky is definitely in the top income bracket — he avoids giving 40% of that money to the government).
– SAVED: Probably at least 50% of the money in that 401k — a little sloppy because it’s really the initial investment minus 10% for fees then 40% off that amount because of taxes, but you get the point (x – 10% = y, y – 40% = theoretical post-tax income).
Let’s say he goes with the T. Rowe Retire 2045 which has returned around ~7.5% since its inception. Instead of letting inflation eat ~3.2% of that money annually (which I’m not going to factor into the equation because if someone cashes out the money from their 401k, they’re not going to save it for 30 years, or at all), he’s getting a healthy ROI.
– SAVED: If he retires by 59, his principal investment is worth ~$65k at the end of 30 years as opposed to ~$4k (initial investment of $7.5k – withdrawal fees of 10% = $6.75k income, $6.75k income – 40% bc high income tax bracket = $2.7k, $6.75k – $2.7k = $4.05k money in the bank).
– TOTAL SAVED OVER COURSE OF LIFETIME BY ROLLING OVER AND INVESTING WISELY: ~$61k.
He probably saves a few bucks from that Walgreen’s card, too.
Holy shit dude! I bow to you.
Man, you really killed it with the 401k calculation! Do you think Lil Dicky would invest in a lifecycle fund and pay for a manager though, when he could just invest in an S&P fund or the total stock market fund? Would he choose his investments by himself – would he be that savvy?
Also yes, I agree, he probably does save a few bucks from the Walgreens cards, haha!
I don’t know why i am hearing this song after one year from its release date! Amazing it is!
Haha I am in the same boat mate! Great article too btw
I get what you’re saying, and great breakdown by the way, but the point of saving money was strictly about how much he was saving to MAKE the video, i.e., saving money by showing the lambo for free instead of renting it, getting an old lady to let them film in the house vs renting a mansion for a shoot, etc…so I think you should’ve done a breakdown on how much he actually saved by getting all that for free. After all, that was the exact point of the video–how to make a dope rap video for free…
That sounds like it’d be a really interesting secondary analysis! Let me know what you come up with if you run the numbers, I’d be interested. 🙂